I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “if your goals don’t make you want to throw up, they aren’t big enough”; if you haven’t, you may be goalsetting with the wrong people.
My goal used to make me want to throw up and then it waned. I used the excuse – life happened – until it was old hat. Of course, life did happen, but not exclusively to me. Life happens to all of us; the question is, how are you going to handle it? For me, the answer became to wallow in it. To hide from my life and not face the issues. Some of those issues were difficult to handle and took quite some time to face. Others were issues that I convinced myself that were of so much importance, that is was ok for me to put my goals on hold.
The reality was that I simply got tired. Tired of not achieving it. Tired of explaining why I hadn’t achieved it. Tired of being embarrassed that I hadn’t achieved it. The reality of it was that I didn’t believe I could do it anymore. The reality was that I wanted the goal results but no longer had the mental energy to attempt to go get it. The reality was that I felt so beaten down by life that I convinced myself that I no longer wanted it. The reality was that I was being led by my feelings and my feelings were lying to me. The reality was that I lost sight of my reasons for the goal in the first place and I just didn’t want to do it anymore. So, I did what anyone who wanted to throw in the towel would do – I threw myself a pity party, and I partied hard! The aftermath of this party was no different than any other, I was left with a hangover. A painful, excruciating, debilitating hangover.
What happened next filled me with pride, disappointment and regret. My children started to thrive. I was so proud of them and yet so full of disappointment and regret. Not disappointed in them but in myself. I was truly happy that they were out there pushing the envelope and trying new things to build business momentum. And par for the course, there was me; totally stalled out, so I threw myself another party. Why does each hangover seem to be harder to recover from than the last? I digress.
Fast forward to the present where I was still a little lagging but a little more warmed up. Children doing the things that make them happy and I've reset my goal. The same goal with the memory of why I started it in the first place. Now, I am forced to take a good look at myself and have that talk with myself that goes a little like this: What in the hell is wrong with you? You are one of the most giving, loving, powerful women out there. You are smart and strong. You are brilliant, and you have people who diligently watch you; people who tell you how much you inspire them. Do you really want to be the person who inspired others to stop chasing their own dreams? NO! Now, THIS made me want to throw up.
My mind wandered back to a conversation that I had about my granddaughter, where I learned that she wanted to be an MMA fighter? First, what 8-year-old girl thinks that? Secondly, am I going to let her hit her goal before I do? Oh, I think not. A little competitive? Maybe, but whatever it takes. The reality is, I have some extremely powerful, show-stopping women in my life, but I was reignited by an adolescent martial arts student. She diligently goes to practice, competes and reaps the rewards. I remember when I was her and because of her I can return to being me.
Whatever the spark is that sets your soul ablaze, ignite it. Pour gasoline on it and blaze a trail that’s clear enough for others to follow.