Remember when they were growing up and you couldn’t wait to cut them loose when they became adults? Well guess what? They’re adults. Do you still feel that way?
As babies, they were your whole world; their safety, happiness, well-being, everything. They gave you absolute purpose and if you’ll admit it – POWER. You brought forth LIFE. Your creation, your ward, your mission. The one thing in life that you would go to the edge for. No matter what. No one could tell you how to, when to, why to or what to. And while you didn’t know everything pertaining to your prized possessions, because let’s face it, who did – you had an instinct that drove you to be able to read and feel and absorb everything within and about your creation.
When they would get sick, your super-powers would go on high alert. You learned how to function for days without sleep and in some cases food. You learned how to put on the show of bravery when you were terrified of failure. You learned to fake it until you made it. Asking all the right questions and a few of the wrong ones – you built an arsenal of information, put in the work and were awarded your honorary doctorate; you became Dr. Mom. You now had a tiny following, a baby cult, if you will. People who were pretty sure that you were a walking, living, breathing set of encyclopedias (or a search engine, depending on the decade in which they were born).
No matter how often they made you, in all your wisdom and super-power-dom, feel completely inadequate (and somewhere along the way they did because that’s THEIR super-power); they secretly acknowledged your skills. To their friends, their friends’ parents, their teachers, whomever they needed to show up. Not necessarily to brag on you, but mostly to let the other party know how much THEY didn’t know. And your personal following had proof because of the many times you saved them from the brink of death. Another way to know that they know that you know everything? If you’ve been fortunate enough to see them build their own following, you’ve been the resource they’ve used instead of their internet search engine to save their own from the brink of death.
I’ve recently had the privilege to assist my daughter through a health issue and it was a learning experience all over again. What I learned is that no matter how many of the 15 seasons of TGIT that you’ve watched, you come to a point of almost uselessness. So, what do you do in that case? You show up. You stand there. You listen to the concerns and feelings. You run the errands. You offer your best assistance. You prep and serve the meals. However, when your baby cult member is now over the age of 30, your real job is to sit in the other room and patiently wait for them to say “Mom”.
What I’ve also learned from this experience is, just like it used to be, no one and nothing is more important than your baby. For me, everything and everyone had to stand down. Not for HER sake, but for MINE. Am I right? Am I wrong? The answer is irrelevant. THIS is simply who I am, and this is absolutely what I do! No questions asked and no explanations offered.
No matter how afraid you might be or how your nervous system may be running amok underneath your skin. Do that thing you do. Don your cape. Strike your pose. Show up and show out. You are Mom and they are Always Your Baby!